Broken By You
by ManderBetis
Summary: She loved him. She believed her. She thought the future was set in stone. Ultimatums given and a friendship lost. Bella gave up everything and everyone one for him, shouldn't that be reason enough to stay?
1. Chapter 1

New story, hope you enjoy!

Thanks to dolphin62598 for beta-ing!

And to MoDunk for prereading and just being herself.

And Jillian Landers for looking it over today.

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"Change me," I asked breathlessly. Our arms and legs still wrapped around one another. If not for his icy touch, I would most certainly be covered in a thin sheen of sweat.  
"Bella."  
"Change me," I repeated, practically begging. My fingers ran their way through his usually polished side swept hair, looking insanely hot with the crazy sex hair.  
"Do we have to do this today? It's your birthday," he groaned, already exasperated with this conversation. He hated that I was bringing it up so frequently while I hated how he always disregarded my request.  
"Exactly it's my birthday; we need to talk about this." I pushed out of his embrace, needing distance, needing to stand my ground. He never hesitated to use his superhuman charms to disarm and sway me when necessary.  
"Your birth is something to be celebrated, not tarnished with an argument over something as silly as ending your life."  
"Silly? This is anything but silly; this is us." I grabbed his hand, trying to show him our differences. Warm and cold. Soft and solid. Alive and undead.  
"We are perfect as we are."  
"For now."  
"Forever." He brought our entwined hands to his mouth, peppering kisses from my wrist to my elbow. So much for resisting his distractions.  
"And when I'm sixty? Seventy?" I needed to keep us on topic; it was my birthday after all.  
"We have been over this; I do not care what you look like, what we look like to others. My love will never end."  
"And when I die, you follow." His plan was so ingrained in my mind; I had heard it too many times to count.  
"That's the plan," he whispered coolly.  
I pulled back, irritated with is his blasé attitude about this. "See the thing is, your plan sucks."  
Staying calm was quickly flying out the window; my breaths were becoming frantic for no reason. We've had this exact talk a million times. "I want you for ten lifetimes not just this one. If you don't, then what are we doing?"  
"I'm not willing to turn you into a monster." He repeated, his reason never changing, just as he never changed. I went on with complete disregard for his previous statement; he was no monster. We had argued this too many times.  
"Edward for years you've seen what I wanted, I've shown you in every way possible." My tears formed and fell as my heart caught up with my thoughts- love, life, meaning, slipping away.  
"We've gone over this, I will not destroy your soul, I will not be the reason you take your last breath." He was clearly taken aback by my reaction; even from across our room he could hear my increased heart rate and rapid breathing. In seconds, he was at my side again trying to take my clothes from my hands. He hated when I ran from him but I didn't want him to see inside my head, not now.  
"And I will not waste another four years trying to change your mind. I will not waste anymore of my time." His shocked expression was one he didn't wear often but matched my own. Neither one of us expected those words to tumble out of my mouth; and there was no taking it back. I could no longer settle for what he gave me. I have loved this man since I was seventeen but I was not not seventeen anymore. Gone was the naïve girl who thought time would change things. He either wanted me forever or not at all. I was done with pretending that this wasn't an issue anymore, I could no longer settle for what he gave me.  
"Waste your time?" I nodded, racing around our bedroom trying to find my underwear. I needed air and space. "You don't know what you're asking me."  
"I'm only asking for forever… with you. If you don't want it, want me, then we're done."  
"We're done?" He repeated, almost flabbergasted.  
I couldn't help the onslaught of memories flashing through my head. I was an emotional wreck; my mind was so weak in this moment and knew that he was seeing them too. I remembered the first time he kissed me and the last just seconds ago,  
"It's not the last," he vowed.  
"Get out of my head," I just about screamed as flashes of his hands running up and down my back, as he thrust in and out me just minutes ago. I would never feel his hands on me again.  
"Enough!" he shouted. Roughly grabbing my arms, trying to keep me still, trying to stop my inner musings. He failed.  
Flash after flash of him professing his love for me; my tears fell freely at that thought of never hearing it again. I couldn't look at him, couldn't see the pain my words, spoken and unspoken, inflicted. I was holding on by a thread, his beautiful face upset would be my unraveling.  
Without a word, I was down the stairs with six sets of eyes on me. Their superhuman hearing allowed them to be privy to my early threat and now they wonder if I would, if I could follow through. I ran into my best friend's arms, neither of us caring about the tears soaking her shirt.  
"Alice, you promised me," I cried.  
"Bella, don't go."  
I looked into her big, heartbroken eyes, if she could shed tears she would have been. I wouldn't just be leaving the man I love but my family too. Fresh tears fell at the thought of never seeing her or any one of them again.  
"Then change me." It was a last ditch effort, knowing Edward would never allow it but knowing that she would was all I needed.  
"Absolutely not!" he yelled as he blurred down the stairs, charging between us.  
"Edward, you know these things are set, the future is the future. Your ridiculous stubbornness won't change anything," Alice pleaded.  
"Jasper!" Edward screamed unnecessarily, everyone in the room could have heard him whisper loud and clear.  
"I'm trying."  
I could feel the waves of calm and love bombarding me but I didn't want it. I needed to feel the brokenness I was inflicting on myself.  
"Don't Jasper, please," I sobbed. The waves stopped and the self-inflicted heartache was back. I was leaving my home, my love, my family, but what other choice did I have?  
"I gave up everything for you, everyone for you and still you gave me nothing in return."  
Tears continued to blur my vision but I was too stubborn to back down. I turned towards the door grabbing my car keys.  
"Bella, I love you," his words were sincere. I felt the love and would have given anything to stay with him forever; just not his version of forever, it wasn't enough.  
"I know, just not enough." I placed my hand on the doorknob, slowly opening as the cool, early fall air hit my face. I ran as fast as my legs would take me, tears streaming down my face. "I love you all, good bye," I whispered, driving away from my home and heart.  
Love. Life. Meaning. Over.

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Love it? Hate it? I can't wait to hear what you think!

1st chapter will be up in a few days, give me some motivation to edit and post!

Twitter- Manderbetis


	2. Chapter 2

Hey there!

The favorites and alerts have blown my mind but the reviews, we need to work on that :)

Thanks to my amazing beta dolphin62598.

And to Jillian Landers for being a wonderful second pair of eyes!

I'd usually say something like hugs and love to MoDunk because she's my favorite but since I'm going to Halifax and invading her apartment in like 8 days, I'll skip it this time!

Twilight- Not Mine.

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Three shots and a box of wine in and she wanted to go to Newton's party. What in the hell was wrong with my best friend? I wasn't nearly drunk enough to be seen at Newton's lame ass party; no seven minutes in heaven, no vodka, no kegs, no fun.  
"Ang, I'm not going!"  
"You have to, Tyler will be there," Angela answered as if that was reason enough, but it wasn't. My best friend was racing around her room, weighing her clothing options; her shirt needed to be tight enough and the skirt needed to be short enough. God knows why she dressed so slutty she was insanely hot all on her own. Long brown hair, tanned skin, big brown eyes, perfectly proportioned plump lips and legs for miles. She suffered from a serious lack of self-confidence, but I was the only one privy to that information.  
"What happened to Davis?" I asked. Just three days ago, she was going down on him backstage of the auditorium while I read just feet away.  
"Davis was boring." That was the only explanation she gave, in fact that was always her excuse when she moved from boy to boy. I shouldn't have been surprised considering her longest 'relationship' was two and a half weeks. Shit, even then she was sleeping with a random stoner from La Push.  
We had been friends since sixth grade and I loved her like she was my own sister but her reputation preceded her. Luckily, I wasn't lumped into to that will 'fuck anything that moves and has good hook ups' category. Appearances were deceiving; I was the elected Sheriff's daughter and local renowned photographer who participated in underage drinking and occasional drug use. Angela was the preacher's daughter who preferred to be on her knees in front of random guys instead of Jesus. Luckily, our parents were MIA most of the time. Unsupervised weekends and empty houses were plentiful.  
"You promised Jessica you would make an appearance," Angela nagged.  
"She'll understand." I only agreed to go because she brought up the fact that I flaked out on movie plans twice.  
"Yeah, she'll totally understand, 'sorry I couldn't make it because I was too drunk to walk straight and let's face it you and your waiting-for-marriage boyfriend are mind-numbing'. Yeah that will totally fly with her."  
Argh even completely wasted she made a valid point, I hated when she was right. I wouldn't hear the end of it if I missed another one of Mike and Jessica's parties. He constantly told her I was a shitty friend; I didn't feel like giving him more flames for his fire.  
"Fine but we're not staying," I warned.  
"Whatever, the minute Tyler's game we're outta there," Angela, sang as she slipped on her favorite sparkle kicks. Even all whored up in her tiny clothes; she was the prettiest girl I knew. I slid off her bed and slipped on my flip-flops.  
"No, I am not going anywhere with you like that," she said laughing at my outfit.  
I looked down at my brown fitted hoodie, flannel pajama shorts, knee high striped socks, pink and black flip-flops and laughed along with her. I looked a mess but was drunk enough to not care and pulled her out of her room and house.  
Pastor Webber was nowhere to be seen as we staggered down the stairs. Saturday nights meant that he was most likely polishing up tomorrow's sermon. Of course, he usually polished it up at a certain young man's apartment but we kept that between the four of us. That private little secret guaranteed Ang's unlimited spending and no curfew as long as public appearances were kept up. Her days were filled with sleeping in, skipping school and barely getting C's but her sweet personality had her the good girl next door. Her nights were spent getting drunk or high and usually on her back or knees; she wasn't fussy.  
We ran down the street singing Sk8r Boi by Arvil Lavigne as loud as possible, so much for being discreet.  
Five streets and two sing-alongs later we arrived at the party, if you could even call it that, there was no thumping bass or stumbling drunk girls puking in the bushes. I would give this party fifteen minutes tops and we were getting the fuck outta there whether Angela got Tyler's attention or not.  
I rapped on the door and was almost knocked down by a blond ball of excitement. I was clumsy on a good day, drunk I was a stumbling mess.  
"Bells you came!" She yelled in my ear as she hugged me like we hadn't seen each other in years instead of days but that was just Jessica. She was my exact opposite in every way possible that was probably the reason we were still friends. Or, she was just determined to 'save me' from myself, either way she was still my other best friend.  
"I promised you, didn't I?" I asked slightly offended, not that I had a reason to be. That was one of a millions things I loved about her. She didn't bother pointing out the fact that my promises usually meant shit.  
"Hey Angela!" Jess shouted, pulling Angela in for hug too. "Come in, there's soda in the fridge, chips and candy on the counter. Want to play the next round?" She asked excitedly running back to the drums set up in the living room. Her, Mike and Ben Cheney were playing Rock Band as a few other people were lounging around just watching.  
"Soda and candy, why are we here again?" I whispered to Angela, my buzz was dying down and the thought of watching people play a video game was not my idea of fun.  
"For him," Angela said pointing at Tyler Crowley. He was like us, way too badass to be seen here, but he was Mike's cousin and kind of forced to show up. She did that annoying girly wave get his attention of course. Jesus, even with my ridiculous get up we were, hands down, the hottest girls here. Alcohol made me cocky but it was true. Even with the blonde hair and hazel eyes, Jessica was pretty, but plain.  
"Angela, Bella thank god you're here, thought I was going to be the only cool kid here," Tyler slurred a bit, obviously wasted. He was cute if you liked that greasy, skate boarding type. I didn't.  
"Well we couldn't have that could we?" Angela said all sexy and breathy, she wasn't even trying to be subtle. I'm pretty sure her hand rubbing up and down his chest was a clear sign that she was all his for the night.  
"Shut up and give me that," I interrupted her flirting and grabbed his water bottle knowing that it wasn't filled with water.  
"Don't drink it all, it's all I have to make it through the night."  
"Don't worry, you'll be busy soon enough, what else do you have?" I winked, knowing that Tyler would be in some bedroom with his hands up Angela's skirt in half an hour flat.  
"What are you in the mood for?" he asked the both of us.  
"You," Angela whispered flirtatiously in his ear. The three of us just laughed because on a good day Angela was respectfully outspoken but factor in all the vodka she drank and she was sexually shameless.  
"Ang, important business first. Got any E?" I asked. Tyler was known around school as the go-to for anything from pills to cocaine. His brother was a big shot dealer in Port Angeles.  
"Money?"  
"Consider her blowjob payment until Monday," I joked. Neither Angela nor Tyler blinked an eye, like I said shameless.  
We all went out on the back porch, completely avoiding all the other people. Tyler pulled out a baggy with a variety of pills different sizes, shapes and colors. I picked out the pink diamond shaped pill, popped it in my mouth, and swallowed without a drink. Angela surprisingly passed when Tyler offered her whatever else he had.  
We relaxed on the deck furniture after I snuck out a bottle of wine from the Newton's wine fridge. We passed the bottle around and made fun of the losers inside who thought a game night was entertainment.  
"You're good if we go?" Angela whispered to me less than thirty minutes later. I nodded feeling the effects already. I hugged her tight; my hands and arms wanted to hug her tighter. She felt so good. I let her help me up from the chair and walk me into the living room. I plopped down next to Ben, the nerdy junior class vice president and avid Just Wait member. "God you're so fucked already, smiling like an idiot. Be safe," she murmured in my ear, kissing my forehead goodbye.  
"Hey Bella, surprised you're here," Ben chuckled all nervous and awkward.  
"Me too," I couldn't help but be honest. I never chatted it up with Ben at school, never mind out of school. We didn't really run with the same crowd even though he was Mike's best friend and Jessica was mine.  
"So why are you?" I looked over at him and smiled, not because I wanted to but because I couldn't help myself.  
"Because I knew you'd be here," I smiled shyly knowing that he wouldn't know what to say. Ben's mouth dropped, obviously at a loss for words. I wasn't much of a flirt but practice makes perfect and who better to practice on than him?  
"Oh wow, we never…. Oh wow," he stuttered.  
"You looked so cute playing the guitar." I hoped he played the guitar at some point because I wasn't paying attention and it slipped out before I could stop myself.  
"Thanks," Ben said timidly, blushing like crazy. I liked him flustered and nervous.  
"Aren't you hot? I'm sweating it's making me all gross and shit."  
"Did you want to go outside for some air?" He asked rubbing his palms up and down his jean clad thighs. I nodded and jumped off the couch, feeling antsy after sitting for so long, or it felt like a long. The clock said that my fifteen-minute time limit was up over two hours ago and I was still here. Ang would totally be hearing about this tomorrow. I followed Ben outside, hopeful that no one noticed us leaving together.  
The cool September air did little to stop the spin of my brain but the spinning was a little nice. I leaned back against the deck keeping my eyes glued to the not so tall but lanky boy sitting in front of me. He wasn't the worst looking guy floating around Forks but he was definitely no Tyler. He lacked swagger, Angela would have eaten him alive.  
"So your friends left?" He stuttered slightly, trying his hardest to come off as suave but he wasn't. The longer I smirked at him the more anxious he got; the more anxious he got the bolder I wanted to be.  
I nodded my head slowly, still grinning. I might have looked a little Fucked but he didn't keep his eyes on my face long enough to notice. I don't think. I watched him, watch me. I wasn't as experienced as Angela, not even a little. But I knew that whatever I did with Ben, he wouldn't know the difference between good or not so good. We were quiet for a little too long and his eyes were still looking at my exposed legs.  
"Like my legs?" I asked unnecessarily because he did, I could tell and his reaction confirmed it.  
"No! Huh? Yea. What?" He stuttered again.  
"You do, I know." I unzipped and stripped off my bulky sweatshirt, tossing it on the table behind him. Every move I made was followed by a gulp or nervous fidget from Ben. I liked whatever power I had over him.  
"Huh, Bella. I don't think that this-"  
"I'm not going to fuck you on Newton's porch."  
"No?" He sounded kind of disappointed but I had fucking standards. I wasn't going to lose my virginity here or too him. From all of Angela's graphic stories I knew there was a shitload of stuff we could do and keep my virtue intact. I shook my head and straddled his lap, my legs tight between his thighs and the chair but it felt amazing. Every little touch, movement even the slightest breeze felt amazing. "Maybe this isn't the best idea?"  
"Sssh," I stopped his words with my index finger over his slightly trembling lips. I knew that he was on the no premarital sex bandwagon like Jess and Mike. They all belonged to the Just Wait, Marriage Is Great! church group that Angela's dad helped organize.  
My lips ghosted over his chin and down his stubbled neck. I skipped over his lips because I didn't want to kiss him. His lips were just ordinary and my first real kiss wouldn't be ordinary.  
His grunts and moans were kind of hot; my body was making him moan. I moved his hovering hands to the outside of my thighs, hoping he would do something besides grunt. He did, gripping them in a completely unsure of himself way. I jerked my hips forward into his more than obvious erection. He wasn't as exceptional as some of Angela's conquests but I'm sure he was adequately sized. It solidified my reasoning not to lose it here, but to quote a little old school R. Kelley, 'I don't see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind'. Another roll of my hips brought his peen to a nice spot, a kind of perfect spot down there. Even totally fucked up, I definitely wasn't comfy with the words dick and pussy, not even a little bit.  
But holy ohmigod the friction between my thighs was the best feeling I had ever felt. I could tell from his scrunched face that my movements were bringing him the same feelings but I shut my eyes not caring either way. I rolled back as his mouth was all over my bare neck and chest, his hands still gripping my thighs. I didn't want them on my thighs so I just moved them under my shirt hoping he'd get the idea. He did, eventually but he did more rough squeezing than the sexy gropes I had heard about a bazillion times. Oh and there was no pinching of my nipples, I think that would have been nice.  
I let my body arch back, pushing my chest further into his hands and my hips further into his. We were a mess of breathy moans, it sounded a bit like a porno but I wasn't in control of much at the second.  
Ben was obviously not a dry hump pro and came within a minute of my moving over him but what he did wasn't much of a concern for me. I kept moving faster and faster over the slightly less hard bulge so I adjusted myself over his knee.  
I exploded; I didn't see fireworks or anything but there was definitely an explosion in my Bells. I think I came, I mean I was so wet and the butterflies down there were gone but I felt light and like air but heavy air. My thoughts were not making sense. I was wide awake but so exhausted and now cold and sweating.  
"So thanks," Ben mumbled into my shoulder.  
"Eww, don't thank me."  
"No?" He asked but I just ignored him and jumped off his lap. I was kinda over him now. The moment my feet hit the ground, my brain began to twirl and spin, I needed to find Jess. She would take me home and I could sleep off the spinning.  
Each step was difficult but I managed to stay upright until idiot Ben asked if I needed help. I fucking fell down the wooden steps, landing on my ass. My arm was on fire, I had no idea what cut me but could feel blood dripping down my arm.  
"Shit Bella, are you okay?" Ben asked from behind me.  
"I'm excellent Benjamin, can you get Jelly?"  
"Jelly?" He asked confused, I nodded my head. "You're hungry?"  
"I'm not hungry, I'm fucking bleeding can you go get Jelly?" I enunciated the last few words like I was talking to a child, but what the fuck this wasn't brain science.  
Ben ran into the house yelling, "Bella's bleeding and wants some Jelly." I was laughing so hard but knew that Jessica would get it right away.  
I heard steps walking towards me as I sprawled myself out on the damp ground, still laughing at boring Ben. I couldn't make out the pissed off mumbles that someone, presumably Mike was making.  
"God Bells you're mess. Are you ok?" Jessica bent over me brushing the hair out of my face. She was so sweet and nurturing, nothing like Renee. She had always been like the mother I never had. I smiled up at her, telling her how pretty she was and how much I loved her.  
"You're bleeding and probably need stitches."  
"Jelly, I'm fine," I couldn't help the slurring words. I was beyond wasted and could smell the blood running down my arm.  
"Let's go," Jessica, said sounding all business. I didn't argue as she and Mike hoisted me off the ground while concentrating on not vomiting all over myself.  
"Does every night have to end up like this with her?" Mike asked rhetorically, sounding pretty pissed off. He practically threw me into his back seat and slammed the door. There were more complaints and moans as they settled into their seats and drove off.  
"Stop it Mike," Jessica demanded and he shut up instantly.  
"Yeah, stop it! I'm right here." I tried to lean up to peek over the seat. Mike was always funny when he was pissed, he got all red faced.  
"No shit Bella I can smell the alcohol from here."  
"Michael Newton, did you just swear?" I screeched excitedly, he never swore.  
"Shut up Bella," Jessica was getting pissy with me too.  
"I'm shut upped," I giggled. "Jelly, I love you. I don't say it enough because I'm closed off emotionally, but I really really do."  
"I love you too but Bells you need to slow down. You could have gotten really hurt tonight." She was so sweet and always knew how to take care of me  
"Newton, your steps are dangerous, someone should check them out."  
"The steps are fine Bella, you're just drunk." His irritation with me was growing every time he spoke to me but he was always super uptight and annoying; nothing a good hand job couldn't cure. I chuckled at the thought of Jessica actually doing that. Too funny. She was a prude to the max, hand jobs and going down on her boyfriend were not even on her radar, even after a year together. Poor Mike.  
"And high," I added but they probably wouldn't have known either way.  
Thinking about Jessica and hand jobs made me want someone to stick their hands up my shorts or down them whichever. I've never actually had someone else's hands all up in my area but could imagine it would be enjoyable.  
The ride felt quick or maybe slow, I wasn't really paying attention. My best friend and her uptight boyfriend bickered back and forth about whether to stay at the hospital with me. Jessica, of course, wanted to but Mike thought calling Angela to deal with me and my mess was a better idea. I thought about offering to give him a hand job to calm the fuck down but Jess wouldn't have liked that.  
"Let's go," Jessica was less than gentle as she pulled me out of the car and sat me in a wheelchair. It was wet and she didn't care because I was too heavy to drag by herself.  
"Hi, my friend fell down some steps and cut her arm, it's bleeding pretty badly."  
"Patients name," a nasally voiced asked but I couldn't see her.  
"Isabella Swan."  
"But you can't call me Bells, only she can." I slurred, trying to see over the desk but she just pushed my head back.  
"Address?"  
"775 K Street."  
"Date of birth?"  
"September thirteenth."  
"Is she under the influence of anything?" The voice asked again.  
"I think she had a few drinks and she said she was high but I have no idea on what. I'm not a druggie. I don't even drink, ever." Jess was really trying to prove she was innocent and not at all like me. She should have flashed her purity ring it would have been easier.  
"You did once remember?"  
"Shut up!" She pushed my head back once again. I was really trying her nerves but couldn't keep my mouth shut.  
"Come on back to triage one."  
Jessica wheeled me back as if I couldn't walk; I cut my arm open not my foot. The nurse took my blood pressure and temperature while asking question after question. I answered her as best as I could but couldn't remember how much I drank and she was annoying. She kept asking for different numbers to reach my parents, unsurprisingly each call went unanswered.  
I was eventually wheeled back into a room and made Jessica rub my hair while I lay down. The wait felt like forever and Jess had to leave because Mike was calling and texting her like crazy. She called Angela and assured me that she would be here as soon as she sobered up enough to drive. She left me with a kiss on the forehead as I drifted in and out of sleep.  
I jumped at the sound of someone clearing their throat; and sat upright too fast. My whole body swayed as I tried to focus on the doctor. I heard a sharp intake of breath and nothing else, as if they ceased breathing all together. Once my eyes finally focused, I saw the most handsome man alive. He had a strong jaw and cheekbones, the palest skin, his darkish bronze side swept hair; holy hotness! I had no idea how long I just stared at him but my eyes were stuck on him, as his were on me.  
"Isabella Swan?" The beautiful doctor asked in the most alluring, movie star voice. I nodded and tried to smile but I was still too fucked up to focus. I watched as he walked towards me and introduced himself. "I'm Dr. Cullen."

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So what did ya think? Love it? Hate it? Reviewers get a little teaser!

Next update- two weekish!

Go read Serenity by houkutus fiktio. It's flawless and amazing.


	3. Chapter 3

Hi there!

Thanks to my fabulous and amazing beta Dolphin62598! Seriously she has her work cut out for her, I have no idea when to use a comma vs a semicolon and usually night in the middle of the night so deciphering my words can be a bitch :)

This probably would have been posted earlier but I was visiting my favorite MoDunk in Halifax then came home to my whiny, clingy two year old son who wouldn't let me eat, shower or edit!

Twilight isn't mine but this is.

Enjoy!

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"I'm Dr. Cullen," the insanely beautiful brownish, reddish haired doctor said. His voice was smooth and sexy; he could totally do voiceovers or something. I stupidly held my hand out to shake his, but was left

hanging while he looked over my chart. "Why don't you tell me what happened."

He had just read my file; I wanted to be my usual sarcastic self but was so dazzled by his hotness when he finally looked down at me. He was somehow more handsome up-close, all tall and thin but not lanky

and looked so young. When our eyes met, there was something there behind those intense golden eyes. He was really looking at me, studying my face like maybe he thought he knew me from somewhere. I had

been a patient in this hospital more times than I could count; Dr. Cullen was definitely new here.

"I fell down three steps and sliced my arm open," I answered, omitting my consumption of alcohol and drugs because that had nothing to do with my arm.

"And how much did you have to drink?" His eyes kept meeting mine as I lied about my intake for the night. His stare did funny things to my already queasy stomach; it was like butterflies were trying to break out.

"Isabella, you can't ever be sure what someone gives you," he said in a reprimanding tone as he walked over to me, kind of looking like he was going to vomit.

My mouth hung open, completely speechless I never mentioned taking anything. Jessica might have but I denied it when the nurse was taking my vitals.

"I didn't," I lied, not needing the lecture. I knew Tyler, why wouldn't I trust him? Everyone at school went to him for shit.

"Dilated pupils, unable to focus, trouble recalling small details, all signs pointing to intoxication." He didn't put gloves on as he looked over my arm. His hands were like ice, soothing the throbbing pain better than

the ice pack I was given earlier. "You're going to need a few stitches and will be in some pain once you come down from whatever you're not on."

The way he emphasized all condescendingly that I was on something was starting to piss me off. If my brain wasn't running at half speed, I would have told him where to shove it but it was so I settled for my

signature bitchface as Angela refers to it. He ignored my glares, leaving the room without a word, although I swear a saw him grin for like three seconds.

Dr. Cullen came back a few minutes later, followed by a nurse pushing a tray. She was in and out of the room quickly, seeming very nervous around the doctor but I totally understood. It must have been hard to

be that close to the prettiness and not be a ball of nerves. He smiled again briefly, it would have been nice if he was actually pleasant and smiled at me before he came at me with whatever scary looking thing he

picked up. He didn't smile but did try to explain everything as he went. I was too nauseas to care.

Trying to take my mind of the slight tugging sensation on my arm, I looked around the room but was drawn back to him. He looked almost uncomfortable as I felt; maybe he hated blood and the rusty smell as

much as I did. I swear on my favorite hoodie that he had only taken five breaths since he walked in the room. I counted two minutes and thirty-nine seconds before he took another breath that had to be

unnatural. Just as that thought left my mind, he started breathing at a more regular pace.

"If blood skeeves you out so much you might be in the wrong field," I said breaking the quiet.

"Is that so?" He asked actually smirking at me.

"It is, maybe you should switch to psychiatry or podiatry."

"I think I can survive," he said with a wide smile. I liked his smile, too bad he didn't do it more often, he looked so cute and young.

The more I looked the more I realized that he was definitely young.

If I had to guess, he was like twenty-three or four, maybe twenty-five but that was really pushing it. Didn't doctors have to go to school for like ten years, how the fuck was he a doctor? He was probably like the

TV doctor, the teenage one, Doogie something. That kid was like fifteen and a doctor. Dr. Doogie Cullen, I couldn't imagine Dr, Cullen staring in a TV show. He had no personality and was kinda rude as far as I

could tell; good looks only got you so far. He laughed out of nowhere for a second even though neither of us said anything.

"Is that your natural hair color?" He asked as looking down at me, no longer laughing. I instinctively twirled a piece of my dyed blond hair between two fingers and shook my head. "Your natural color looks far

better with your complexion."

Was this guy serious right now? Who was that blatantly rude? Aren't there rules about doctor patient respect or whatever, He was seriously working my nerves and really fucking up my high. He didn't even have

any idea what my real hair color was and everyone loved blondes. I wanted to tell him that what a dickwad he was and that he could take that thread and needle and sew his fucking mouth shut.

"Not everyone, but duly noted," he said under his breath, still stitching up my arm.

I think he just talked to himself. Who was everyone and what was duly noted?

So not only was he crazy cute, but he was also a little crazy or maybe a lot.

Aside from a few more random laugh cough cover-up things, I was all fixed up. I had a huge ass bandage going down my arm I looked kinda badass. Badass Bella, I could totally come up with a few crazy stories

about how I got all bandaged up.

"Alright Isabella, you're all set. I'm giving you a prescription for two days worth of Vicodin and instructions on how to prevent infection and clean the area. Shouldn't be too much longer." Dr. Cullen said and turned

to the counter, filling out my chart. I didn't need the instructions; once upon a time, I was crazy clumsy and made frequent trips to the ER with my nanny.

I nodded, reaching for my phone for the first time; I felt a burning, throbbing pain shoot up my arm. I hoped like hell that Angela would be sober enough to pick me up; I didn't have enough money for a cab and

was exhausted. I was greeted by a less than peppy grunt.

"Hey, you awake?" I asked quietly. I didn't need the already rude, intrusive and way too opinionated doctor listening in on my conversation. She sounded exhausted, yawning twice but was awake and felt good

enough to drive. "I should be able to leave soon."

"Okay I'll leave in a few, meet you outside?" Angela asked with another yawn. I felt her pain; my body was drained and was begging for a week's worth of sleep.

"Yup. Hey, do you have any," I wasn't sure how to say weed without saying it in front of Dr. Cullen. "Anything to smoke?" I knew from many past rolls that smoking a little would help take the edge off as my mind

started to clear; I really could have used it an hour ago.

"Ahhh let me check." I heard her pushing stuff around, most likely in her top drawer. Yup, I do."

"Great so I'll see you in a bit." We hung up as the doctor turns back to me, irritation all over his face. I was over his up and down moods.

"Who's coming to pick you up?" Dr. Cullen asked looking almost angry, it couldn't have been with me. I was practically the perfect patient he was the rude one.

"My friend, Angela."

"The young lady who left you alone at a party? You need better friends." His tone was so condescending and he was being an asshole, an unbelievably handsome asshole. Wait, how in the fuck did he know that?

"You need a better bedside manner," I huffed out when I really wanted to shout 'newsflash douche bag doctor, good looks don't give you the right to act like a motherfucker'.

"Regardless, it's going to be awhile," he announced before turning for the door. Didn't he just say I was good to go? I swear this doctor was totally fucking with my head, talking back to my thoughts and shit.

Knowing all the shit I took tonight, without me admitting it.

"Doog, the stitches are done," I yelled before he left my room.

"Isabella, you hit your head and need a cat scan." He was talking to me like I was mentally retarded. I was definitely coming down but this wasn't my normal paranoia. I definitely didn't tell him I hit my head and I

know, I didn't mention Angela at all.

"I'm fine." I wasn't above arguing to get out of here and closer to a comfy bed.

"We can just keep you here until a parental guardian is reached."

Well fuck, if I had to choose between ten cat scans and Charlie picking me up at four-thirty in the morning, I would choose the cat scan every time. I didn't miss his patronizing grin as I nodded and called Angela

back.

After an hour and a half, a cat scan and another call to Angela, I was finally given the go ahead to go home. But not without a stern warning about underage drinking and excessive drug use by Dr. Asshole.

We smoked with the window down, I felt so relaxed and sleepy. Angela had to practically carry me up the stairs and change my out of my dirty pajamas. We crawled into her bed, curling up next to each other.

She was so warm and smelled so good I loved her so much. I wanted to tell her all about Ben, his lap and the doctor but was too tired to speak. I went to sleep with Dr. Cullen's face plastered in my brain, the

way he clenched up every time he came into my room, the way he answered my unasked questions. He was this strange and beautiful mystery and starred in my dreams.

"Bella, get up," Angela sang all cheery and upbeat after only two hours of sleep. My arm was burning and so tender. I could have stayed in bed all day but it was Sunday and church was mandatory. I groaned for

a solid minute before rolling off her bed and wobbling to the bathroom. My head was pounding; it was like the worst hangover over but worse. My reflection in the mirror was hideous; my hair was a rat's nest,

major bags under my eyes. Thank god for make up or I would have never heard the end of it from Renee, she was all about appearances.

To the outside, we were the picture perfect family, the happily married couple who put family and values first. Blah, blah, blah we were so not that. Renee was a very successful photographer based out of Seattle

and rarely spent more than a day at home. Charlie was the county sheriff, on his third term who spent more time with his secretary Heidi than with my mom. Then there was me, the straight A student in all AP

courses, who showed up to school everyday, disrespected her parents whenever the chance presented itself and never tried a drug I didn't love. We were so far from the idyllic family, but what the voters didn't

know didn't hurt them, that was Charlie's motto.

I splashed water on my face, brushed my teeth with Ang's toothbrush and took four of her Zanax because I felt like it.

I thought nothing of stripping down to my bra and panties and walking back into her room, we were totally open with each other. She was still sitting at her desk with her hair pulled up into a French twist, putting

on light eye shadow and pale lip gloss. I sat in her lap, facing her and took her mascara, applying it to her lashes.

"You're so skinny and pretty," Angela whispered with a sly smile as her thumbs rubbed little circles on my hipbones. Our minty, just brushed breath mixed together as she put her lip gloss on my 'perfect lips'. She

told me to turn around, keeping her hand on my waist as I moved. Her touch always sent shiver through me but relaxed me at the same time. She kissed my bandaged arm and brushed my hair, pulling back to

show off my 'pretty cheekbones'.

I watched my best friend in the mirror as she touched and took care of me, like she always did. My head was already a bit blurry from the pills as Angela slipped her plain beige dress over my head and pulled my

black cardigan over my hurt arm. I sighed as her tanned hands moved up and down my pale legs while she rubbed her vanilla and strawberry scented lotion on. I didn't even like the smell but it remind her of her

mom. I always wore it. She slipped on my black mary janes, telling me how much she loved me, that I was her only friend, that she was sorry for last night.

Her touching me and helping me get ready wasn't new; it was her way of apologizing. Lately it felt like she was always making up for something. Angela held my hand as she drove us across town to the simple

but beautiful church. She always looked so sad and lonely, even if I was right there. I would have done anything to make her smile.

I spotted my parents chatting away with a town selectman and his wife Mrs. Cope, the school secretary. Angela always saved us a spot up front but needed to go in and help her dad set up, I would have rather

been arranging cookies on a tray with her than talking to my parents but it was just one day a week for a few hours, I could manage.

Renee spotted me and waved me over, looking happy to see me; she wasn't. She was one of those moms who was only a mom because of an accidental pregnancy; she didn't have a motherly bone in her tiny

body. She was beautiful with the long, wavy, sandy brown hair and hazel eyes. The only thing I inherited from her was the crazy long legs. I had more of Charlie in my dark brown hair, eyes; so plain and generic.

On a whim, I had Angela dye my hair blond and my parents freaked. I didn't even like it but pissing them off was reason enough to keep it.

"Hi sweetie, have a fun sleepover?" Renee asked pulling me in for a hug. I nodded and said hello to Charlie and the Cope's but stayed relatively quiet until we walked in. I listened and nodded when necessary, I

didn't give a shit about the upcoming election, Charlie had it in the bag as usual.

"Come to Seattle next weekend, we can go shopping for school clothes," Renee asked, sitting down in the pew next to me. Angela was already seated and just smiled at me; she knew how phony my mother

was.

"School started last week Mrs. Swan," she said sweetly. I loved how cool Ang played it while shutting my mother down.

"For fall clothes then, you know you want new boots," she was trying to bribe me and it was working. I loved all kinds of boots, rain, knee-highs, high heels, low heels.

"Can Angela come?"

"Of course, baby, Jessica too." While I wanted a pair of new boots, the thought of an entire day with her was just too much. We would spend the day bickering as she criticized everything I picked out or ate. My

friends tagging along meant it wouldn't be a total shitshow. "What do you say Angela, want to come to Seattle for a girl's day?"

"Sure Mrs. Swan that sounds great," Angela replied with an eye roll; Renee didn't even wait for a response.

Pastor Webber welcomed us and started the mass with prayer's calls for anyone who knew someone that needed them. Jessica joked that one day she was going to request that the congregation to pray for my

soul. She was part of the choir and we always smirked at each other when members stood, asking for positive thoughts for their sick loved ones.

Once the pastor got going he could really talk, I usually zoned out, letting my thoughts wander. And they went back to last night, probably because my arm was throbbing and I hadn't filled my prescription yet. All

I could think about was how insanely hot Dr. Cullen was and what kind of minor injury I could induce to have him treat me again. I would plan it just right, wear the sluttiest shirt I own and make him drool over

me. The more I thought about last night, the more I realized not once did the quick but unfriendly doctor look anywhere besides my arm and face. I had great boobs; Angela told me that all the time, he should

have been looking. Right then, I could feel someone watching me. I subtly turned around to scan the crowd; half of the town was here as usual.

That's when I saw him, Dr. Cullen, watching me. Our eyes locked and I was stuck just staring, he seemed to be searching for something in me. His eyes squinted; his head tilted as if he was listening for

something, getting further annoyed because he couldn't hear it. I let my eyes wander briefly to man next to him, bright blond hair parted to the side just like the doctor's. I couldn't help but I noticed the rest of

them, two girls and two guys. The six of them together were just too much pretty for one pew; seriously, they were the most beautiful people I had ever seen.

I could have stared at them for days but the doctor; he was by far the prettiest. I watched him watch me, if he could just stare so could I. Gone was the stone face from the night before. His narrowed eyes and

tight lips drew into a scowl painting his features in anger, frustration, irritation and confusion. I couldn't have looked away even if I wanted too, not that I wanted to.

Who knows how long I stared at the beautiful doctor before Angela's elbow bumped me back into reality. I turned my attention back to Mr. Webber as he wrapped up his sermon and communion was passed out.

The congregation cleared out, making their way down to the hall for coffee and baked goodies, which was my favorite thing about church.

I kept my eyes open, looking for Dr. Cullen and his pretty people but they were nowhere to be found. They weren't even outside, which figured because Charlie was a people's person and would have introduced

himself. And I would have totally been right next to him, being the perfect daughter. Charlie would brag about my greatness like he always did, I wonder what Dr. Cullen would think about that. Maybe he'd stop

with the semi death glares if he realized that I wasn't some loser druggie like he obviously thought.

Angela and I snuck away before getting roped into another brunch with the church council. That shit was so boring and I needed to get some strong ass meds in my system ASAP.

We laid low the rest of the day and night, watching reruns of Friends and eating cookie dough with her dad. Angela claimed to hate her father, forcing her to live a lie in the small Fork's spotlight but I liked him. He

smiled a lot, let her do whatever she wanted and always asked how her day was over dinner. My parents never did any of that at home, hell none of us where ever there together to even try.

My night ended with enough Vicodin to sleep until Thursday while Angela snuck out for a little one on one time with Tyler.

I drove to school alone, Angela was sick or more accurately exhausted from coming home around dawn. I think that was where we differed the most. I refused to be stuck in this shitty town around these shitty

people for the rest of my life. I went to school everyday, had the best grades and was applying to Ivy League schools. Angela was a mediocre student, but in school her shy and sweet persona made her appear

like the girl next store. I got drunk or high to have fun and feel good, not to forget everything. I wanted out and thought long term she just wanted an immediate escape.

I was in a sleepy haze all morning, even coffee from Jess didn't perk me up, but the girl sitting in my history class seat did.

I didn't listen to the school gossip because it was usually about Angela or people I didn't give a shit about. So maybe I missed the news of a new girl, but there she was in my seat.

"You're in my seat."

"Is it assigned seating?" The new girl with black hair asked looking up at me with a sarcastic grin.

There wasn't, so I let that go and took the seat next to her, huffing out 'bitch' not so quietly under my breath. What new kid in school acts like a complete bitch, apparently she didn't plan on having any friends.

I took out my notebook and a pen and pretended to doodle. I looked through my hair, trying to check out the new girl. Her long, shiny black hair was hanging down like mine, covering her face but she was

dressed like a model with leather knee high boots; I hope they were weather protected; they were too pretty to be ruined.

She didn't even so much as glance at me until our teacher assigned a group project. Suddenly new girl was all smiles and 'Hi, I'm Alice.'

Gone was the seat stealing bitch from the beginning of class as she asked to work with me. I wanted to tell her 'fuck off' but the only other person I could stand in class was Mike and he definitely wasn't talking to

me yet. He wasn't as forgiving as Jessica, most likely I would be getting the silent treatment for at least a month.

I nodded in agreement as new girl or Alice smiled at me with one of those big, toothy smiles and swore that we'd be best friends in no time. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I didn't need or want any new

friends.

I didn't try to make small talk because I hated being fake. But once the assignment was explained and we were done brainstorming ideas, she couldn't stop complaining about everything. How much she hated

Forks because it was too rainy, that there were no decent boutiques or any warm weather. All I could focus on was the fact that her boyfriend lived with her and she could bone him every night, who would allow

their daughter's boyfriend to move in? I think even Charlie cared enough to say hell no. She promised that her civil war enthusiast of a boyfriend wouldn't mind helping us with our project. And by help, she meant

write it for us, all we had to do was the poster board. I was totally down with that.

"Weren't you at church yesterday, with the new doctor?" I tried to cut her off because this girl could talk and once I had really looked at her I realized she was with my super hot doctor yesterday. She had the

same pale skin as him, the same light eyes and the same pretty. It was the only way to describe it, pretty.

"Yea, Edward, he's my uncle. Want to come over after school, so we can start this today?" I wanted to ask a million questions about her strange uncle but her short tone told me not to. I wasn't in the market for

a new friend but if I for to learn more about him, I could be open.

* * *

So Edward and Alice have finally appeared, can't wait to hear you think! My birthday is Thursday so make me feel better about getting old and I'll give you a sneak peak at the next update :)

I am loving Don't Stand So Close To Me by Elyse Gaines! Older Edward, younger Bella, hottest lemons eva. Have I convinced you yet? I thought so, now go read, review and tell her I sent ya!


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks to Dolphin62598 for beta-ing!

Twilight= Not mine.

Enjoy!

* * *

I wasn't the praying type but as Alice rounded another sharp turn doing at least fifty miles per hour, I said a few hail Mary's. I didn't want to leave my car at school but it was a good thing I did, I never would have

been able to keep up through the barely cleared driveway to her house. She talked a mile a minute, telling me her whole life story in the short twenty-minute ride. I half listened while responding to Angela's angry

texts. I mean, how dare I not go straight to her house after school?

"And Edward, my uncle, accepted the position, so here we are," Alice said smiling at me. I wished she would have kept her eyes on the road and I wished I hadn't been ignoring her because my ears only perked

up at the mention of his name. I wanted to ask to her repeat everything or just the Uncle Edward stuff but settled for smiling back. We finally passed the biggest house I had ever seen. Alice's designer clothes

and fancy car were somewhat deceiving as the massive house was in dire need of some TLC. The white paint was faded and chipped, a few shutters missing. She pulled into a newer garage and parked next to

an equally lavish Mercedes and some sporty looking car. The parked Porsche and Mercedes were much more expensive than the little Audi that I got for my sixteenth birthday. If I had to hear my father complain

about that one extravagant present one more time, I would crash it just to spite him. My mother wasn't good for much but played _keeping up with __the Jones' _quite well. When Jessica's parents got her a new Civic

for her birthday, Renee trumped it with my black A5 Coupe.

"Carlisle, is working but you can meet everyone else," Alice said as we walked into the kitchen. The run down theme from outside continued inside. The kitchen was straight out of the seventies but it was far from

retro. "It needs some love but it will be spectacular one day. Come on, I'll give you the grand tour," Alice said probably noticing my icked out expression.

I tried not to look around in disgust but it was so dated and dingy, who would eat from this kitchen? I smiled and followed as she guided us through what should have been the dining room but was empty. Such a

waste of space, Angela's dad would have killed for a room this big; he loved entertaining and dinner parties. It looked as though everything from top to bottom needed to be changed. The wood floors need to be

polished up, the wallpaper taken down. It was obvious the Cullen's lived large, they should consider investing some of their auto and apparel funds into their shithole walked into the living room; there were three

of the most beautiful people relaxing in front of the same gigantic flat screen that Charlie had to have; apparently, everything looks better in HD. Alice introduced me as her new best friend with a wink to me. I

resisted the urge to roll my eyes but the blonde goddess looking girl didn't. Emmett, Alice's brother, I think, barely looked up from whatever game he was playing. He was Alice's opposite, big and muscular but had

the same dark hair. Rosalie, the other girl I saw briefly at church, looked up from her magazine and smiled. She was hands down the most beautiful girl I had ever seen and probably one of the nicest. She said I

was prettier than she imagined, not really sure what that meant but a girl could never hear she was pretty too often. When Alice introduced Jasper, her eyes went all lovey this was definitely her boyfriend. He

had the same lovesick eyes, as he kissed her like no one else was there. With a single bat of her long, dark eyelashes, he immediately agreed to help us with our project. It was actually nice to see two people in

love even though they were doomed; first love was destined to fail. The happy couple walked hand in hand, as we walked upstairs which felt and looked like an entirely different house. No gross peeling flowered

wallpaper, but was still void of anything personal; no family pictures anywhere. Alice pointed out the bathrooms, Rosalie and Emmett's bedroom, Uncle Carlisle's study and bedroom. I really should have paid

attention in the car, she mentioned another uncle?

The tour ended at her and Jasper's bedroom, which was colorful, airy and the view overlooking the trees was amazing. The three of us got comfortable and started our homework. Alice suggested a few ideas for

our project and Jasper was just as enthusiastic about our project as she said he would be. All I had to do was smile, nod, look out the window and text Angela. She was upset that I didn't go right to her house lie

around with her all afternoon, homework be damned. I was used to her insane jealously, she always whined when I would go over to Jess's house but she was being over the top with her fifty plus texts in the

last hour.

"I agree, we'll be original, everyone else will totally do the Battle of Gettysburg. Bella?"

"Totally," I said hoping that sufficed because I had no idea what she was asking me.

"Great Jas, where should we start?" Alice asked. Jasper was clearly in his element as he started writing an outline and key points for us to hit. The last two hours taught me that one- Jasper was nice and wicked

helpful but really fucking creepy he was stiff and breathed even less than Dr. Cullen did a few nights ago. And two- Angela was over fucking bearing and too needy for my liking, her persistence was wearing my

nerves and patience thin. I responded with a very ladylike get off my dick.

"You okay?"I finally looked up from my phone and realized that ignoring Alice wouldn't get me any more info on her uncle and that was really the only reason I was here to begin with.

"Yea, god I'm so rude. I'm sorry my friend's being annoying and I'm not usually this quiet."

"It's ok, we have plenty of time to get to know each other," she said with so much optimism. From what I could tell Alice was so friendly and enthusiastic, she would get along great with Jess; Angela would hate her instantly. Right now, I was neutral.

"So it's time for you to go," she said abruptly, practically jumping off her bed and rushing to her door. Jasper looked up from his computer and had the same what the fuck face expression as me.

"We're done?" I really had no idea why she was trying to rush me out but her entire demeanor had changed in a single moment.

"No but you and I shouldn't be pissing off Angela anymore than we already have."

She was right, Angela was still texting me with craziness about me liking the new girl more than her, vowing to never skip school again and promising me her favorite sweater and a backrub if I slept over. The

thing was I never mentioned Angela, not once, just like I never said it to Dr. Cullen but he knew she left me for a guy. I should have questioned how she knew about my bestie but was kind of shocked; once was

strange but twice was really fucking strange. My brilliant response was a grunt as I picked up my bag and followed her downstairs through the non dining room and back into their shabby kitchen. Suddenly the

dinginess was gone and the room looked bright and beautiful, that's a lie, it wasn't but seeing Dr. Cullen, standing in it made it less dreadful. I stood stuck in the doorway watching as he did up his tie, the way his

fingers moved. I wanted them on me again, not suturing me but something a little more sexy, less sterile. Alice did a very obvious throat clearing, alerting both him and I to my staring and pulled me forward. I

would have cared about her ice-cold hands on my wrist but his eyes on me were distracting.

"Edward, this is Bella my partner in History. Bella, this is my uncle." I smiled but it wasn't returned. Instead, he fixed his collar and slipped on a dark jacket.

"We've met. I need to get to the hospital," he said brusquely, walking towards the door.

"Perfect, I was just going to drive Bella back to school to grab her car, do you mind driving her?"

"I'm in a rush," he said visibly annoyed.

"But it's on your way and I have a lot of homework to finish," Alice said crossing her arms, glaring at him.

"You have all night, I'm sure you can finish it all up," he stared right back at her, neither blinking nor saying a word. It was tense, awkward and obvious that he didn't want me hanging around his niece.

"No it's fine Alice, I can wait until later," I offered, trying to break the 's eyes narrowed at her uncle, telling to give me a ride and after a full minute of Cullen vs. Cullen showdown, Dr. Cullen finally broke.

"Fine." It was so clear that the doctor wanted nothing to do with driving me anywhere; my hospital visit had obviously done a number on his opinion of me.

I watched as the trees flashed us by, he drove even faster than Alice did, I predicted that the Forks PD would be making a killing off the Cullen's future speeding tickets. Silence blanketed the car, he had no

intention of talking so neither did I but he was beautiful and I had to look. My covert glances would be imbedded in my brain replacing the foggy images from our first meeting. I had never been out of Washington

but knew without a doubt that Edward Cullen was the sexiest man of all time and I wanted him. I snickered at that thought because the feeling was obviously not mutual, especially with the asshole attitude he

had been putting the fog of everything I had taken nights ago, I tried to remember everything that happened to make him hate me so much. I remembered his expression the first time he walked into my room;

first surprised then upset, then irritated. For the rest of my short hospital visit, I received glances that further proved the fact that Dr. Cullen was very upset with me; it was an almost immediate quiet eventually

got as uncomfortable for him as it did for me and with a push of a button; soft classical music filled my ears.

"Clair Delune?" I asked without thinking.

"You know Debussy?" He sounded surprised.

I wasn't stupid. He thought I was some kind of stupid teenager. I might do stupid things but I was far from the typical loser teen around here. It wasn't in my nature to prove myself to anyone but I wanted him to

see that I wasn't the girl he thought I was.

"Yes," I said indignantly, I wanted to knock his arrogant attitude down a notch but found myself explaining my familiarity. "My mother is an artist; a photographer and painter, she played lots of classical and jazz,

it inspired her." I smiled at the memory of music streaming throughout my house. Renee would paint in her studio off the dining room while Sue and I sat at the kitchen table painting and talking. Her words of how

wonderful, talented and beautiful I was ran through my head making me miss her more than usual.

"Are you close?" Edward asked surprising me. How was I supposed to answer that? To most outsiders she was the busy painter and photographer who split her time between home and Seattle but to me she

was just Renee. Never around, never interested in anything I did or said, never willing to spend any time with Charlie or me.

"She's full of life and has that whole thinking with the left side of her brain going on. She's determined to be a huge success in the art world and so far she has been but she's always been gone a lot." There that

was enough and I didn't say a bad thing about her.

"So you were with Charlie most of the time growing up?"

"No, I was with Sue most days," I saw his sideways glance and felt the need to explain my entire life to him. "She was my nanny, we'd bake together, read stories, color, shop, play outside. She was my best

friend but she died two years ago." During my mini rant my mind filled with images of Sue, I missed her so much and I needed her so much. I definitely wouldn't have this bandage on my arm because there would

be no way she would have allowed me to come and go as I pleased.

"I met your father yesterday. He mentioned or more aptly bragged about his outstanding, honor roll daughter, I assume you have a sister?" Edward joked while still smiling over at me. I didn't know how to

respond, mere minutes ago he was arguing to not drive me back to school, then ignoring me and now trying to joke around.

"You're hysterical, watch the road," I said pointing to the road in front of us.

"How is your arm feeling?" He asked and out of nowhere, I felt his ice-cold fingers running down my arm. All thoughts vanished as some kind of electricity flowed through my body. I had no reply; I just wanted his

hands always on me.

"Huh?" Jesus, I sound like some loser twelve-year-old, you don't get zapped when you touch a hot guy. Dr. Cullen was screwing with my head.

"Your arm," he said slowly as if I was mentally handicapped and then he smiled, it was the most adorable grin making his eyes light up. I would let him dazzle me a million times over just to see him that happy, no matter how fleeting it was. A moment later, his playful smile was gone and both of his hands were back on the steering wheel, so tight his knuckles turned white.

"Ahh it's fine, sore but fine," I finally mumbled. I wasn't planning close enough attention, with the arm touching and all. I looked at my house surprised to realize that we were now in front of my house instead of the school.

"Didn't Alice tell you, I left my car at school?"

"She didn't mention it and I'm running late," he said unlocking the doors, signaling to me that I needed to get out of the car.

"But I need my car to get to school in the morning." I wasn't trying to be a pain in the ass considering he obviously didn't want to drive me anywhere in the first place but how else would I get to school in the

morning? Never mind the thought of spending the night at home with Charlie was reason enough to further upset him by asking him to bring me to my car.

"I will tell Alice to pick you up."

"But I need to pick up my friend Angela," I was sounding whiny I didn't care.

"Her again?" He groaned his aggravation evident as he rubbed his hand over his face, the same hand that was minutes ago running up my arm.

"Excuse me?" I questioned him. This was the second time he had insinuated that my best friend was anything less for no reason.

"Alice will grab you then stop by your friend's house," he practically sneered at the word friend.

"Listen I -"

"Isabella, I am late. Alice will pick you up tomorrow," Edward said cutting me off, effectively ending the conversation. What the fuck, he just Isabella'd me?

"Thanks for the ride Dr. Cullen," I said in my most sarcastic voice, grabbing my bag and roughly opening the door.

"You're welcome Isabella," he responded ignoring my tone with that same look in his eyes, that he had the first moment he had laid eyes on me. I couldn't name the look but for a brief moment he looked at me

like Jasper looked at Alice but it disappeared. Dr. Cullen pulled off the moment I shut my door, not even waiting to see if I got into the house safe but then again it was Forks.

I walked slowly up the walkway and into my house, knowing that the next few hours with Charlie would be torturous. Maybe I could sneak upstairs, take the rest of my prescribed medication and not have to deal.

"Bella?" Charlie called from the living room the moment the door was shut.

"Yeah, it's me," I yelled back, holding my tongue when I really wanted to shout 'who the fuck else would it be'? I was already halfway up the stairs when he asked me to come back down.

"Did you eat?" he asked actually taking his eyes of his precious Mariners.

"Not yet."

"Me neither, order a pizza we can eat together like a real family," he laughed at his little joke, there was no point in pretending we didn't realize how fucked our family was. I nodded; order a pizza with extra cheese and mushrooms because Charlie hated mushrooms. I ran upstairs, showered and threw on some pajamas, and called Ang letting her know that a sleepover was a no go. She whined, threatened to end it

all and promised to go to school the next day. There was nothing I hated more than driving five minutes out of my way only to find out she was skipping. I made the dreadful walk back downstairs once I heard

the pizza arrive and was shocked to spend almost an hour eating and actually talking to my dad. I couldn't remember the last time that happened, most of the time we ate together Renee would be bitching about

something, making me want to slit me wrists rather than listen to her.I went to sleep without the help of any pills and woke up feeling good I wasn't used to that. I sat in bed for a few minutes just thinking about

the last time I felt good, like good happy not good high. It had been far too long and I was determined to change that, maybe Angela would be down for a change? Not likely.

Alice was five minutes early but breakfast was never my thing so I grabbed two granola bars and jumped in her backseat. I even smiled, it wasn't the bright smile Alice gave but it was a smile nonetheless. I

directed her to Angela's house and texted her to get her ass out here.

"Good morning!" Alice shouted once Angela had shut the car door.

"Umm hi?" Angela said warily, giving me the _what the hell _eyes. Not expecting the new girl to be picking her up for school, no one broke into Angela's circle. The poor thing looked a wreck but that was quickly

becoming her thing. I needed to remember to mention my idea for some life changes she needed it bad.

"Bella left her car at school when she came to my house," Alice explained this morning's carpool session because Ang looked a little confused.

"So I skip school one day and the wolves descend?" She asked completely ignoring Alice's constant chattering all the way to school. My eyes rolled unconsciously at her and whispered a soft shut grabbed my

hand and wrapped it around her neck, pulling herself into my side.

"I missed you, did you miss me?" she whispered just as quietly not wanting Alice or Jasper to hear.

"I always miss you," I replied brushing the hair out of her beautiful but constantly sad eyes.

"You're my only friend."

* * *

Love it? Hate it? Reviewers get a sneak peek at the next update!

If you love a nerdy, older Edward then go read In Your Eyes by my favorite MoDunk.

And the fabulous Elyse Gaines wrote me a little birthday O/SThe Dark and Windy Road

so go check that out!


	5. Chapter 5

Hi there! Please forgive my lack of replies, I realized once I went to post that I never did but it won't happen again :)

Thanks to Dolphin62598 for beta-ing!

And to MoDunk for prereading, she's my favorite!

Twilight= Not mine.

Enjoy!

* * *

"Your uncle totally hates me."

"No he doesn't," Alice said with a giggle, continuing to stroke my hair as I had my head in her lap. And then everyone laughed along with her even though we were whispering quietly on the loveseat. Even creepy

Jasper laughed and he was on the computer across the room.

Creepy Jasper was my private nickname because he was quiet and kind of creepy; I had never seen him crack a smile unless he was looking at Alice. The way he looked at her was sweet; no, it was so much more

than that. Their eyes spoke a secret language that only the two of them understood. But to everyone else he was quiet, reclusive and just creepy.

"Yes he does, complete with evil eyes and all," I said sitting up all ready to defend myself. But instead I had all eyes on me as they laughed like really laughed at me, I was being totally serious. Carlisle had even

put down his book to laugh along.

"You're imagining things," the always beautiful Rosalie said still laughing her ass off.

"Bella, trust Edward doesn't hate you, not even close," Emmett said while not taking his eyes off his game.

Carlisle, Rosalie and Jasper nodded in agreement, as if they actually knew he didn't. I wasn't convinced.

"No seriously like two weeks ago I fell, needed stitches and he was my doctor in the Emergency Room and like he knew I was drunk and high, even though I denied, denied, denied. I bet he thinks I'm like this

horrible influence on you." I told them my story because I assumed tightass Dr. Cullen wouldn't have broken doctor patient confidently.

"Doubtful, I'm bad enough on my own."

"You bad? Alice seriously? You're like the most innocent thing ever except for Jess."

"I'm seventeen and sleep with my boyfriend with adult consent, that's pretty badass." And now everyone was laughing at her because no she was so far from badass. "No? Whatever! What's her deal anyways?

You two don't seem to mesh well but you're best friends?"

The laughter finally died down, Alice and I got back to our original conversation and original position with my head in her lap.

"Yeah, I love her like crazy. She was my sister from another mister or whatever. My parents have always been MIA or just too busy to deal with me. The first day of kindergarten her mom gave her extra snacks

and I took it and we became besties. She's like this goody two shoes and Miss waiting until marriage but we work."

"And Angela?" Alice asked I knew she was dying to figure it all out.

Over the last two weeks, Angela had gone out of her way to ignore Alice whenever she was around which lately wasn't frequent considering Angela had been out seven of the last fifteen school days.

"Yeah she's my other friend since birth, practically. She's the exact opposite of Jess and they don't really get along anymore but somehow they do, if that makes any sense."

"Not really, but I get it. "

"Yeah so Angela came from this picture perfect family, her dad is the pastor and her mother stayed at home. But when we were eleven she left, leaving a note saying that she was unhappy and couldn't pretend

to be Miss Suzy Homemaker anymore. That's when she became rebellious and reckless." Alice continued to run her always cold fingers through my hair, looking down at me. "It started out small like not coming

home when the street lights came on to weed when we were twelve and on and on."

"She doesn't seem like your best friend anymore though."

"I know but she's my Angela."

***-BBY-***

"I have a great idea; it would set our project above all the rest," Alice squealed, all excited over something. She wasn't usually all smiley and loud, so this must have been some idea.

In the four weeks since Alice and I started this project, I had learned that when Alice got an idea it was usually over the top. I was really starting to genuinely like her but sometimes she was fucking strange.

"We could dress up in authentic civil war clothing!"

See that right there, over the top and I was so not doing that.

"You're kidding me right?" I asked honestly, I mean who would actually do that and where in the hell would we find clothes like that? Her big, round eyes told me that she wasn't kidding, "No, I'm not dressing

up."

"You're no fun," she whined, trying to pout but I was stone, there was no budging me.

"You're nuts, you know?"

"Whatever, should we watch a movie? I hear _Gone with the Wind_ is all the rage lately."

It was Saturday, the sun was actually shining and Alice wanted to stay inside. I wanted to enjoy the last sunny day of the season, it went from the summer warmth to cold overnight around here. I complained a

few times, staring outside, "Alice as much as I love the 1860's I'm bored."

"You complain a lot."

"Come here," I jumped out of the overstuffed chair and went to drag her to see how beautiful it was outside.

They had an amazing yard that they never used, a sweet little creek and trails that went in all directions but most of the time they all stayed inside.

"Where are going?"

"Outside, it's too nice to be in here." I grabbed her hand and playfully ran for the backdoor but no more than two steps later and I kind of got flung back against her. Trying to pull Alice was like trying to move a

giant boulder and her ass was tiny. What the hell?

"I can't!" she yelled, yanking her hand away sending me flying to the floor. I looked up into her eyes and noticed how timid she looked. I listened as she explained how she had an acute sun allergy, something I

had never heard of before and would be Googling when I got home. She said that her entire family broke out in painful hives and got migraines whenever they were in the sunlight. They all suffered for years from

the rare disorder until both of her uncles got the job offers here in Forks.

I had gotten used to all Alice and the rest of the Cullen's little quirks like the constant stillness and the super hearing. Or the fact that nothing could be said but somehow conversations were being had all around

me.

Oddities aside, I liked being there with them, minus Edward who was so hot and cold with me. For the first time in a long time I felt accepted and comfortable, it was Saturday, Emmett suggested watching a movie

and for the first time in like two years I stayed in, and not just Saturday night, I stayed in the entire weekend. And I had fun; without drinking or having to find a sober ride home because Angela would ditch me,

for practically any guy who smiled at her. It was a nice change of pace, one that I was fully embracing.

**-BBY-***

"Come on Bella, we haven't gone out in weeks and it's your birthday. Jesus, you barely even come over anymore," Angela sulked and slurred through the phone. I wanted to argue and say how wrong she was

but she wasn't and she had woke me up at seven on a Saturday morning.

Over the last few weeks, I had been spending more and more time at Alice's house. It wasn't just that the object of my obsession was there, it was all of them. Alice was right she was rapidly becoming my

favorite person; there weren't expectations or judgments with her.

We didn't need to get high or go out to have fun like with Angela, she didn't make me feel bad for every word I said or move I made like Jessica. Alice was simple and happy. Rosalie or Rose as she made me call

her, she was like the sister I always wanted. I could see how perfectly matched she was with Emmett; they were sarcastic without being malicious and so welcoming. Alice's Uncle Carlisle was probably the nicest

and most soft spoken man on the planet. Edward was well himself, sometimes he would greet me with a smile or a nod of his beautiful head and other times he was silent and standoffish. And Jasper was still

fucking creepy.

"I'll go but going to skip the drinking tonight, I have a killer headache," I whispered, as to not wake up Alice. I lied about the headache because I needed to prove to myself that Angela and I could hang out and

have fun without all of the extra shit. The more time I spent with Rose and Alice the more I realized that my friendship with Angela, decades long or not, was incredibly superficial and usually left me feeling

hungover and miserable.

"Whatever, I'm gonna go to sleep but pick me up at 8, yay!" She hung up without saying goodbye or sorry for waking me up.

"Who was that?" Alice asked sounding like I woke her up, unsuccessfully but she tried. The girl never slept but would for some reason try to fake it, as if I gave a shit whether she was getting a full eight hours. I

just threw that in the weird shit the Cullen's do column, the column was fucking long and I had only known them for a little over a month.

"Angela, she wants me to go with out with her tonight." I looked over at her from my side of the bed, when I slept over she would sleep in the guest room with me instead of with Jasper. Her eyes glazed over for

quick second, then it was like a light bulb went off and her eyes bugged out of her head. "Oh I was hoping we could go into Port Angeles and go to the movies or something," she said rapidly."No I can't tonight. I

haven't hung out with her in forever."

"But Jasper is going out with my uncles, some kind of male bonding ritual."

"So hang out with Rose and Emmett."

"Ugg they're always all over each other, I'll be the third wheel," Alice whined to me while lightly scratching my head. She quickly learned that I was goo in her hands if she rubbed my head or back, it was Angela's

secret if I gave a shit whether she was the third wheel, I was always the third wheel with her and Jasper but I was too tired to argue with her so I pretended to fall back sleep.

***-BBY-***

Angela grabbed my hand and dragged me to towards a tallish, pretty blond who I assumed was Lauren. Angela talked about this girl the entire drive, like she was a celebrity or something.

"Lauren, this is my Bella. B, this is Lauren," Angela introduced us. Lauren just smiled, gesturing towards her half full bottle of Vodka asking if I wanted some. I declined but followed them towards the bonfire and

gave polite smiles to all the greasy, gross looking people standing around with beers in their hands. They were the hardcore druggies, the ones your parents never wanted you to hang out with. They didn't seem

like Ang's cup of tea either, but maybe now they were? She had started skipping school at least twice a week, gone was her casual drug use, now she took or smoked whatever she could get her hands on.

"I know drinking's out, want to smoke?" I shook my head no and watched as Angela, Lauren and some random guy walked into the woods.

"Here I snagged you a bottle of water," my supposed best friend handed me the bottle, which wasmore than half empty and walked back to Lauren and the sketchy looking guy.I sipped my water listening to

some kid Riley talk about his mad board skills and watched Lauren and Angela. They were definitely feeling all the swigs of vodka they took.

Lauren had seamlessly taken over my spot next to Angela, swaying to a beat that only the two of them heard. I wasn't the jealous type like Angela but she was overly affectionate with her, no doubt showing me

that she too had someone else to hang out with. I hated stupid games but stupid games were Angela's thing.I tried to relax and have fun but these people; they weren't my kind of people.

Minutes passed like hours as a wave of nausea rolled through me. I didn't give a shit about skateboarding or these loser druggies, I just wanted to get away from the fire. I watched as Lauren walked towards

me, her hips swaying as she smiled at me. She was definitely pretty with her bright blond hair and tan skin but maybe her head was too big. The closer she came the bigger her head got, it was really fucking big

like disproportionately big.

"How ya feeling?" she asked while sitting down next to me, right next to me.

How was I feeling a little vomitey, my head was spinning and I was, I was high?

"What did you give me?" I asked as my body swayed forward on its own, I was feeling increasing more unsteady with my movements.

"Angela said you were being uptight so we gave you a little something. Dance with us?" She asked, taking my half-drunk water and guzzling it down.

I ignored Lauren, too furious at my best friend who just stared at me with devious smirk on her face. I carefully called Angela over with my index finger; I couldn't tell how close the fire was and didn't want to burn

my finger.

"Belllla... I Love you," Angela sang sitting to my right as my left shoulder was being snuggled by Lauren, who was becoming pretty handsy considering she didn't know me.

"You put something in my drink." I didn't need to question her, I already knew.

"Bellllla, you know I hate a party pooper," she said looking up at me smiling like her big, pretty smile would be enough to stifle the anger trying to flow through me. Whatever they gave me was fighting its way

through and I wanted to smile back but instead stood up, rather ungracefully.

"How do I get back to my car?"

"You can't drive you're high Bellllla," Angela was slurring her words and I was just noticing that I was too. I knew I was no condition to drive I could barely see straight, my eyes just wanted to shut.

"I'm aware Angelllla; I want to sleep off whatever you gave me in my car." Just like Angela I got stuck on the L in her name and dragged it out, it felt nice and sounded pretty; I wanted to keep saying her name

over and over. And since she wasn't answering me I did when finally Lauren offered to show me the way, grabbing my hand and pulling me along.

"Leaving already?" The greasy skateboarder Riley asked Lauren and I, somehow he had our still joined hands in his and he was rubbing his rough thumb over my wrist. If he wasn't dirty looking it could have felt

nice so I closed my eyes for just a second, pretending it was Edward, it felt so good. Lauren's raspy but high voice told my pretend Edward that she was taking me to my car and he offered to walk with us.

I didn't want him to follow us but the way he kept rubbing circles into my wrist, it felt like fire but good fire. I let him hold my hand and didn't mind when his hand went from my wrist to my hip 'to help me stay

upright' as long as he kept up the rubbing, he did. He rubbed, we walked and maybe Lauren was with us or maybe she wasn't, I couldn't open my eyes but could feel everything.

My phone rang and rang the sound of Holler back Girl filled my ears again and again, it was Alice's favorite song.

We were walking too long my head couldn't take it, I forced my eyes open and tried to sit on fallen tree but missed, Edward laughed and fell on top of me. The cool ground felt good on my exposed back his hands

were all over my stomach I wished they were as cold as the first time he touched me but they weren't. I had dreamed about his freezing cold hands, these weren't them but they still felt so good, so so good. I

didn't protest as they moved up my stomach, under my shirt and under my bra. I wished Edward still smelled as sweet and yummy as he did first night I saw him, instead of sweat and beer but he was close to me

and that made up for it.

My head was swimming with his touches over my body and then his hands were replaced by kisses, kisses under my bra and down my stomach. I enjoyed everything so much, it was so so good and then it

stopped. There was a growl and scream, a loud screeching scream and then it was quiet so I whispered for 'Edward to never stop' and 'come back and kiss me forever, everywhere'. He came back but no more

touching, no more kisses, the cold, wet ground was gone and the cool air wasn't all over my belly.

I forced my eyes open but squeezed them shut there was too much red and grossness. Suddenly I was floating through the air; I forced my eyes open again just to peek. The gross was gone the red was gone. I

wasn't floating, I was flying, the trees were zooming past my head, it was too much so I closed my eyes again and let my head fall against the freezing hardness. It was finally the ice cold feeling that I wanted so

I his whispered his name again and finally heard his voice whispering that he was here, that I was okay. Didn't he know he was already here, that anything with him was okay and now that he was here, I didn't

need to open my eyes again. I let my head fall into him with my hand over his heart and continued to fly.

* * *

Love it? Hate it? Reviewers get a sneak peek at the next update!

Does everyone hate Angela? Anyone ever have a friend just like her? I did, not fun.

I am rereading a few of my fav fics and need something new and good to read, rec me something?


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry for the delay, I just suck.

Thanks to Dolphin62598 for beta-ing!

And to MoDunk for prereading, she's my favorite!

Twilight= Not Mine

Enjoy!

* * *

"Will she wake up soon?"

"Thank god you got there fast enough who knows what would have happened."

"I love her but I'm not cleaning this up."

"Will Charlie realize she hasn't been home in two days?"

"Unbelievable."

"She is rather dramatic in her thoughts."

I heard them all, what the fuck was going on? The only thing I was sure of was my pending death. My head was going to explode at any moment and I would die. The whispering going on somewhere around

me would be the death of me. I was awake but asleep; I couldn't move but had vomited all over myself and nothing more than incoherent mumbling came out of my mouth. Maybe my thoughts were a little

dramatic.

"She's going to wake up soon."

"How soon?"

"I don't know but soon, you saw, the sun was just starting to set."

"Calm the fuck down, she's fine, you're a doctor you know this.

"Well she looks like shit."

"She can hear you."

"Fuck, then that was Alice."

I wanted to laugh and give Rose the finger but still couldn't move, my body felt like stone. I felt like Alice. And then at some point I could move but, not a lot. I could open my eyes but they kept shutting so I

kept trying. I still mumbled but the whispering was now talking. My head was throbbing but the cold hand brushing hair back off my forehead helped soothe the pain, well not really but it felt nice. The musical

sound of laughter made me want to smile and laugh just not right know.

"Hey sleepy head," Dr. Cullen said quietly, still brushing my hair back. I immediately shut my eyes, wanting his hands to never stop touching me. I remembered how cold his hands were the first night while he

fixed up my arm, so having a second chance to feel them I would do anything to prolong it. "Bella, try and keep your eyes open."

His voiced was still soft and sweet, I did as I was asked and just started into his eyes. My vision was clouded but becoming clearer by the second. Without words I somehow knew how worried he was for me, I

would have done anything to ease whatever worries he had.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

My throat was so dry, trying to speak felt like sandpaper going up and down my throat. Alice appeared out of nowhere with a nice cold bottle of water and held it up for me to drink, my arms were still so

heavy and I could barely lift my head.

"Better?" he asked.

"No," I was given another sip and greedily drank half the bottle. "Am I dying?" I finally asked. I mean I was awake but my head hadn't stopped throbbing and moving was still near impossible.

"Not on my watch," Edward whispered grimly, looking upset for a moment. "Would you like to sit up?"

I did but felt too heavy; his hand finally left my head as he helped me sit up, leaning against the arm of the couch. It was just him and I, Alice disappeared as fast as she appeared. I couldn't ignore the look on

Edward's face, in his eyes, he looked so anxious.

"Are you okay?" I asked, wanting that look to be gone.

"You're asking me if I'm okay."

"Yes."

"Bella, do you remember anything that happened last night?" He asked ignoring my question. I thought about his, but couldn't come up with much of an answer.

"No?" I wanted to ask how I got here because the last thing I did remember was hiking to a keg party with Angela and maybe sitting down around fire. I didn't question him because I was too tired to talk. "I'm

tired."

"Then sleep beautiful girl, we can talk when you wake up," he whispered my head thanked him. I closed my eyes; his cold hand was back on my head, rubbing circles against my temple, but I couldn't sleep. I

tried to think back to last night, the bonfire and how I got here.

"When did I get here?" I asked with my eyes still closed.

"A few hours ago, you didn't look so good so you went straight to the couch and passed out."

"Where's my car?" I knew for certain that I had picked Angela up and drove as close to the party as possible. There was no way I had driven and if anything happened to my car, Charlie would flip out.

"Right outside," his voice was so smooth and stiff and bored, like he was tired of talking about this.

"Who drove me here?"

"You did silly," Alice said with a quiet, fake giggle; once again appearing out of nowhere with more water and some crackers. She was trying too hard; her smile was unnatural and plastered on.

I awkwardly sat up and stared her down, she was lying, I could see it in her eyes. There was no way I drove myself here, no matter how fucked up I was I had never driven.

"No I didn't."

Both Alice and Dr. Cullen stared at me, willing me with their eyes to believe whatever they were telling me. It wasn't working.

"How did I get here?" I demanded.

"You drove here in the middle of the night," he answered automatically. Too robot like, too rehearsed. He was lying; there was no way I drove last night.

"What did you take last night?" Dr. Cullen asked trying to distract me.

"Nothing," I answered immediately. I told Angela that I just wanted to have fun without any of the other shit so even if she offered I would have refused.

"Bella, maybe you should go back to sleep you're obviously still exhausted from whatever you took or didn't take last night." He was trying to sound annoyed with me but I could see through whatever he was

giving off; he wasn't mad, he was worried. We were seriously having the same argument over what I did or didn't take? Granted the first time I was lying but not this time, at least I didn't think I was lying but

my lack of memory of last night was perplexing.

"I'm not tired."

"You are tired."

'What happened last night?" I asked, not letting it go.

"We will talk more when you wake up."

Exhaustion was creeping up on me and suddenly I wanted to sleep for days. Dr. Cullen, Edward, I had no idea what to call him now, helped me lie back own. I wanted to argue that I had slept enough, but no

matter how hard I tried to fight the exhaustion.

"She needs to know," Alice whispered as my brain floated between awake and asleep.

"Drop it," Dr. Cullen said firmly.

"No she needs to know what we are, who you are. It's not fair to her."

What we are? What?

"Enough," he demanded, his voice was loud and angry.

Sleep was fighting hard to overtake me but I wanted to stay up and listen but I was dreaming before another word was spoken.

"You're awake, finally!" Alice cheered.

My brain wasn't ready to deal with her voice, I sat up on my own, gone was the heaviness.

"What time is it?" My voice was hoarse; I gulped down the water in front of me.

"Six-thirty."

"What happened last night?"

"You showed up-"

"I need to go home," I interrupted her rehearsed spiel because it was a lie and I wasn't believing it.

"Maybe you should stay the night we can eat snacks and stay up late," Alice offered.

Without a thought, I asked, "What are you?"

"I can't," she said, refusing to give me anything to go on but wasn't trying to cover up with a lame ass excuse.

I didn't care how much my head throbbed; I needed to get away from her and him. I needed answers and they weren't willing to give me any. I walked passed Alice and used the bathroom, noticing and not for

the first time that the roll of toilet paper hadn't been touched sense the last time I used it. Instead of badgering Alice for answers, I saw my keys near the front door and decided no goodbyes were necessary. I

walked to my car and drove off as Alice and Dr. Cullen watched, both looking worried.

I drove straight to where I would find some answers, disregarding all speed limits. I pulled up to the house that felt more like home than my own but something was off, I felt it in my bones. I walked up the

front door trying to find something to say to my best friend other than what the fuck? I was coming up empty but knocked regardless.

"Bella, haven't seen you around lately, how have you been?" Angela's father said opening the door. He didn't look like a preacher in his running shorts and t-shirt but I was used to him outside of the white

robe he wore.

"Good Mr. Webber, I need Angela," I said walking passed him and up the stairs, this was like my second home I didn't need permission.

"She needs you," he said to me as he walked back into the living room. His words made me feel guilt deep in my belly but it wasn't my job to take care of her. I did the best I could for as long as I could but now,

she was too lost, too gone. At her door I hesitated, I usually just walked in but what if Lauren was here, I didn't want to intrude so I knocked for the first time in years. Ang opened the door, looking as bad as I

felt.

"I missed you," she whispering, instantly grabbing my hand. I could barely smile back and had no words. I didn't think I missed her.

"Can I brush your hair?" she asked and I nodded, nothing felt better than her hands brushing through my hair. She pulled me to her vanity, letting me get comfortable as she carefully pulled down my hair. Her

fingers and nails against my scalp felt better than I remembered, I could have gotten lost in the feelings. And the way she looked at me through the mirror hurt my heart. I was all she had and I didn't think I

wanted her anymore.

"I can try and be better, maybe even hang out with Alice," she offered. I shook my head, it wasn't enough, I didn't come here to talk about that.

"What happened last night?" I finally asked.

"I slipped you something, I wanted you to have fun," Angela admitted, not feeling the least bit remorseful. Her admission didn't surprise me; there was no other answer that could account for my lost time.

"I told you, I didn't want-"

"I know but you're never here and you finally were but you weren't the same. I wanted my Bella back. Do you hate me?"

"Never," I lied because in that moment I did hate her, so much.

"Stay with me?" she begged. I wanted to scream at her and ask her how she could do that to me but instead I just let her pull off my sweatshirt and put my hair back up. I followed her to her bed and smiled

down at her as she pulled off my jeans.

"I have something for you," her hand glided up the outside of my leg, stopping at my knee. She looked up at me and no matter how much I hated her, no matter how much she hurt me, I loved her.

She stared up at me as she opened her nightstand drawer and pulled out two white pills. She slowly rose to her feet, her hand back on my leg, now resting on my hip. She could see the doubt in my eyes and

promised it was just a sleeping pill. I didn't need to sleep more but wanted too. I watched her take a pill, let her slip one in my mouth and drank the water she put to my mouth. We stood there, just looking at

one another one. She was so broken and gone, she wasn't my friend anymore, there was nothing left to salvage between us but walking away felt near impossible but so necessary.

I liked the way I felt around her, I was always the smarter one, the prettier one, the one going places and she just wasn't. What kind of person uses someone to make themselves feel better? I deserved

whatever she did to me; she was only trying to feel better herself.

I lay down and watched as she sat over me, her legs straddling mine while looking down at me. She raised my shirt, her fingers tickling my skin but I couldn't help but laugh. Her fingers danced across my skin,

scribbling her words onto me. Her words spoke so slow I had to strain to hear as she murmured how sorry she was, that she could and would do better just for me. She said my hair across her pillow made me

look like an angel and that she missed my smile. She caressed from hip to hip, as she asked how she could make me happy and be just hers. She leaned down and for one moment I thought her lips were going

to press into mine but they went to my ear, her hands holding my neck as she breathed heavy all over me.

"What can I do?" she pleaded as tears fell from her eyes into my hair.

"Nothing."

"I love you," she promised. "Can I show you how much?" she was begging but I didn't know what for.

"No, I already know," I vowed but I was lying and she knew it. She crawled off my lap, snuggling into my side.

"You'll be gone in the morning," Angela stated; she was right. I came for answers and I got the how. How I got so fucked up and couldn't remember a thing.

"I get it. I'm too much everything, I ruin everything I touch," she cried and cried. I fell asleep with her words still saying sorry, swearing she understood and would love me more than everything and everyone

until she died and hopefully that was soon.

* * *

So did you love it? Hate it?

I have a confession- I have a serious thing for Bella and Angela so someone should write me some!

I have run out of things to read rec me something good :)

Loving Mind The Gap- http:/www(.)fanfiction(.)net/s/6872879/1/Mind_the_Gap -When Edward and Bella throw themselves into a long-distance relationship, they don't realize that sometimes the mileage is not the biggest obstacle in the path of love.


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks to Dolphin62598 for beta-ing!

And to MoDunk for prereading, she's my favorite!

Twilight= Not Mine

Enjoy!

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I left before the sun rose, I didn't want to risk having to leave with Angela awake. Her tears and apologies from last night would turn into screaming and threats today. Neither my

heart or my head couldn't handle that right now. I walked through the front door, not trying to be quiet; there was no waking Charlie up. Sneaking in was always easy, especially

because he never even tried to wait up for me.

I showered; the water was so hot, washing away the last two days. I felt physically and emotionally disgusting. I slumped to the floor and curled into a ball, letting the water wash

over me; I cried until it ran cold. I got dressed in whatever was on the floor and took coffee to go.

My hair was still wet as I parked and walked through the school doors, keeping my head down. I didn't want to see Angela, not that she would actually come, or Alice because if she

said something about being unable to tell me about Saturday night I would want to punch her. No, I wouldn't punch her because I would probably hurt myself more than her. I must

have been giving off some kind of vibe because with the exception of Alice and Rosalie no one bothered with me.

My days flew by, Monday, Tuesday then Wednesday; so fast but still slow.

I spoke to no one, even as Alice pretended to eat dinner with Charlie and me. She would talk about school or Thanksgiving, anything to get him to be involved or interested in me

and anything I did; it never worked. She would follow me upstairs and talk about random things, I never acknowledged her. But sometimes I would just stare at her out of the

corner of my eye, trying to figure out what she was, what the Cullen's were because human they were not.

She looked human, maybe too perfectly so but it didn't escape my notice that her hair was always different, sometimes long, the next day short; black one day and dirty blonde the

next. More than her hair, it was _her_. The day I tried to pull her outside, she wouldn't budge and when I was flung back into her it hurt, she was solid like a rock. And the bogus

sunlight allergy thing, I Googled it and there was a sensitivity to the sun but her supposed reactions did not match up.

I would replay the things I heard while I was in and out of sleep the weekend before. Alice knew I would wake up soon, she said that it wasn't fair that I didn't know what they were.

The Cullen's were not human; I just had no idea what they were. I would have asked but she would have talked her way around it.

Alice would say that she was there for me, if I ever needed to talk. I would ask her what happened, how I got to her house on Saturday and she would say some bullshit about it not

being her story to tell. I couldn't understand, she was obviously there that night and she knew how I got there. She could help me figure everything out but she refused because it

wasn't her story to tell? Then whose story was it?

Dr. Cullen? Edward? I had no idea what to call him because the more I tried to remember anything I could, the more I would remember how nice he was to me the next day. Gone

was his usual standoffish attitude towards me, he was sweet and caring. He rubbed my head and took care of me until I bolted. Something had certainly changed between us, I just

had no idea what that was.

By Thursday, I was ready for the weekend but my morning crawled by. Before this week, I had been sitting with Alice and the rest of the Cullen's during lunch but I just couldn't

anymore. I had taken to hiding in the library but it was closed for some meeting, I had no choice but to venture into the cafeteria. I walked through the line grabbing my usual, pizza

and soda and I walked to Jess's usual table. I sat right next to her, Mike was probably running late or getting her food, but she wouldn't even acknowledge me.

"Hey," I said attempting to break the proverbial ice.

"Hey," she said standoffishly and went back to ignoring me.

"What's up?" I asked, needing to get my best friend to pay attention to me, ask me what was wrong, I needed to talk to someone. But my question went unanswered, she was

obviously pissed at me but for what, I had no idea.

"Jess, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," she was so short with me, obviously something was wrong.

"Nothing? You're not talking to me?"

"Seriously?" she asked, whipping her head to me, she was fuming. "You're just now realizing that I'm not talking to you?"

It took me a second to form any thoughts, she was looking at me with such outrage, I wasn't used to it, not from her. And then I took a second to think, when was the last time she

talked to me? When was the last time I tried to talk to her? It couldn't be the night I fell and got stitches, could it? That was almost two months ago but nothing else was coming to

mind.

"Yes, it's been that long," Jess said answering my unasked question.

I can't believe I let myself go that long without hanging out with her; I was officially the world's worst friend.

"What did I do?" I asked sheepishly.

"Where do I start? You ignore me for months, you only come around when you need me or something and you humped Ben at a celibacy party? Jesus Christ what is wrong with

you?" Jess was red in the face and we had managed to grab the entire table's attention.

"Don't take the lords name in vain," I joked, trying to make her smile. I hated when she was mad at me.

"Shut up!" She shouted and now the surrounding tables were staring.

"Excuse me?" Tears were forming in my eyes; I didn't need this but couldn't walk away.

"Mike's right it is always something with you."

"Are you serious right now?" I asked and got a _hell yes I'm serious_ look in return. "So because Ben chose to feel me up, you're mad at me? That's insane." I whispered, trying to be

quiet enough that the entire cafeteria wasn't privy to the rest of our fight. I know I was ignoring all of her other points but I had no excuses for paying no attention to her; I was just

selfish and thoughtless.

"No Bella, it goes so far beyond Ben; what about a week before school started?" Jess was looking at me with expectant eyes; I had no idea what she was referring to. "Of course you

wouldn't remember. My mom found you passed out on our patio in the pouring rain; it took forever to wake you up. I got lectured for days because of that."

I kind of had nothing to say because I really only remembered waking up in her bed and in her clothes. Before I even had time to try to defend myself, she continued with her

reasons why I suck.

"Or what about when you and Angela disappeared for three days and my dad and I had to drive all the Seattle to pick you up from a disgusting rundown apartment? I'm so sick of

sitting by and watching you do stupid shit, get your act together." She was done yelling at me and left the table. I didn't have many people in my life that loved me or cared about

what I did but Jessica was always there for me. I couldn't let her go when she was this upset at me.

"Jess, wait… I get it but I…. think this is…" I chased after her, at this point I didn't care that we were in the middle of the cafeteria, that people standing around us could hear us.

I wanted to tell her that I didn't need mean to do all those stupid things but whenever Angela and I got together, we did something stupid. I wanted to promise her nothing like that

would ever happen again and that I ended things with Angela last night.

Instead of walking closer to the doors, she stepped up to me, holding my face in her hands. She looked so sad and disappointed, I think it would be the look that parents give their

children when they get caught sneaking out for the first time. I didn't like it; Jessica always had a way of making me feel bad about things but maybe I needed more of that in my

life.

"Bells don't be like her." She left without any other words, just a silent plea with her eyes to stop being like Angela.

I stood there, unable to move or think but I could cry and I did; in front of the entire school. I cared but didn't, I deserved the disapproving looks, I brought it all on myself. I

eventually slumped to the floor, leaning against the wall. The tears wouldn't stop.

"Put your arms around my neck," someone whispered but I didn't open my eyes, just did as I was told. They were cold and hard, I wished it was Dr. Cullen but it wasn't, I knew that

much.

"I can't believe we sat there and watched that, we should have stopped it."

"You can't change these things, you know that."

"Really because I think I could have punched that bitch in the face that would have ended it." I knew that voice belonged to Rosalie and if I wasn't so sad I would have smiled at her

protectiveness, not that I wanted anyone to touch Jess.

"And have a repeat of Saturday? Expose us all?" Alice said quietly but I still heard it.

"Enough, we will be back to get you guys after we bring her home," Jasper said with an authority I had never heard from him before. He was the silent type but they listened to him

and I was slipped into someone's backseat. The door shut and I felt like I was alone enough to cry, really cry so I did. I know that Alice and Jasper were in the car but that didn't

faze me. Alice felt like so much more than just a friend that I had known for weeks, it felt more like years or a lifetime. Jasper was still just her boyfriend to me but when he picked

me up, I felt safe.

I couldn't wait to be home and wallow the day away and probably Friday too. I couldn't deal with everyone looking at me tomorrow and after our fight, everyone would definitely be

looking.

"Can you walk?" Alice asked, offering her hand out to me.

"I'm not broken," I snapped but took her hand and held it all the way into her house. I heard her say they were taking me home but we were at her house not that I was picky; a

bed to cry in was a bed to cry in.

She walked me upstairs, helped me get my shoes off and my sweatshirt, the sheets were already pulled back and we slipped under together. It was almost like being with Angela

except it was about comfort not guilt or deception.

"She is okay?" I heard Carlisle ask for somewhere behind me. He was never home it was odd, but then again nothing about this family was normal.

"She will be."

I almost laughed at her because it was just so easy for her to say that, I had no one left. I left Angela, Jess hated me, Charlie never paid attention to me and Renee hadn't been

home in weeks. While she had five people who loved her and were always around, she had love and a family, I had nothing.

"You have us," Dr. Cullen said. I opened my eyes to see him in the doorway, looking at me. It was same look Jasper gave Alice, I was sure of it, not that it made sense.

I barely felt the bed shift as Alice got up and left the room without a word to me or her uncle. Being alone with him, with the way he was looking at me was overwhelming. I went to

get up and get redressed to make a quick escape.

"Stay," he said softly as he sat in Alice 's just vacated spot. "I want you to stay."

I felt his hand slip into mine; I let my body relax back onto the bed only this time my head resting on his chest. He was so cold and hard but so comfortable and comforting. I was

too tired to try to make sense of any of this and his hands combing through my hair lulled me a deep sleep. Eventually that deep sleep turned into a nightmare or my real life. I

wasn't sure which one but I woke up all alone with tears streaming down my face unable to make sense of my dream.

* * *

Love it? Hate it? And what was Bella's dream about?

I started a new fic and update a few times a week so check it out!

Where We Stood- The right things happen at the wrong time. First love is the hardest to keep and the hardest to let go. Can we ever go back to when it was you and me against the

world? Back to where we stood?


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